Freeze to Death or Sleep with the Devil

Bank holiday week-end, nice weather. I wander into Sprog 4’s room and
leaf through a  Marvel comic. Batman. It’s in perfect condition with a £12.99 price tag. Sprog 4 comes in.
“What are you doing Dad?”
“These comics are in great condition, maybe you should keep them in plastic protectors or something, sell them on ebay when you’re older.”
“Dad, guys who do that will still be virgins living with their parents when they’re 30.”
“So that’s not your plan then.”
“Nah, I figured 18 to 20ish, travel a little like you did.”
“Joe, you haven’t been round the block yet and it’s a more dangerous world than when I hitch-hiked across it, best get the train.”
“Fuck that.”

So I told him of the time I first hitched across Europe in 1971. I was about to cross the Italian border.
A straggly haired young woman loomed up at me in a tatty long black dress, no shoes, and carrying her only possession, a huge American army sleeping bag.
“Have you got 40 dollars?”
“Well, yes.”
“Because you need to have 40 dollars if you wish to enter Italy, not to give just to have, can I come with you?”
“Um, OK”
As soon as we were over the border she took charge. There was a line of trans-continental haulage lorries parked in the lay-by and she called to the driver of the first one. They made their negotiations and we were set up for a lift into Italy.
We sat up in the high cab, her in the middle and me by the door. Within minutes she was fondling the driver’s crotch and if he thought I was her boyfriend he certainly didn’t mind. I became intensely interested in the Italian countryside and embarrassed as hell.
So we finally got out in the middle of nowhere. I glanced around for signs of a youth hostel. We trudged across a couple of fields until she chose our spot for the night somewhere between a hedge and a tree.
She was warm as toast in her sleeping bag but mine was totally inadequate for the cold night, I was freezing.
"You can get in with me if you want."
I pretended to be asleep. She terrified me.

Women, you think you can cope with them but they are another force so never underestimate them. It takes a kind of superman and I ain’t quite one of them yet.

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